my uncle used to be one of those people who drove dead people to cemeteries and such
then he became a taxi driver and the person he was driving tapped his shoulder to ask a question and my uncle screamed really loud
I’m sure that’s what he thought.
At dinner my family and I were watching TV and there was a guy on it and I was like “I know him from somewhere!” and I couldn’t figure out where I knew him from and then it that said he was a gay porn star and dinner suddenly became very awkward.
My cousin has two deaf parents and just posted
“You don’t know the struggle until you run out of toilet paper and everyone in your house is deaf.”
and i’m laughing reALLY HARD
THIS IS STILL THE FUNNIEST THING
one time in math class my teacher was really pissed at us and he was yelling “DO YOU EVEN KNOW BASIC MATH? DO YOU KNOW ADDITION? WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO? COREY, WHAT’S TWO PLUS TWO?” and poor corey wasn’t paying attention so i leaned over to him and whispered “seven” and he blurted out “SEVEN” and i have never laughed harder and i doubt i ever will
very fucking punny you shits
IM SORRY THIS IS UNRELATED BUT THE FIRST ONE FKING CRACKED ME UP I CANT BREATHE
That moment when you find out your mom has been going on your Facebook to play Candy Crush…
is there actually sims fanfiction
how do you dialogue?????
She turned to him, tears traveling down her cheeks, and whispered softly,
“Faloopsinarb, woo fa goo.”
He will never look at her in the same way again.
One time my friend got a boner in class and the teacher thought it was his phone and grabbed it.
my physics teacher told us a joke today
three guys are on a boat and they have four cigarettes, but no lighters or matches or anything to light it with. What do they do?
They throw one cigarette over board and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter
A CIGARETTE LIGHTER
bitch you lack so much class marx declared you a utopia